. lucia's box .: 2008

On the run run run

No time, no time for it all... No time to deal with my life and pay enough attention to you... I'm so sorry. The fault of you being last on my list is your constant caring, my self-absorption, and the mad way the world runs round...

Wait a bit longer... I'll be back soon... Just leave a message after the beep and I'll get back to you as soon as possible... Thanks.

A glass half empty...

'Ask Me No More' by Sir Lawrence Alma-Tadema

Today I woke up in the wrong set of mind...

I am a bit closer to you... in 4 days we'll meet, under the Tower, after so long dreaming about it... in 4 days I will again fall assleep in your arms, head on your chest, hands on your belly, you caressing my hair and kissing my forehead with those warm hands and soft lips... in 4 days we'll be so excited and happy for meeting, once again, in a new city, for a new adventure... And although all this and so much more is true, in my head this morning all I could find was the sadness of the idea that in a week I'll be having my last morning with you probably for quite some time...

I guess this means I like you a bit more than I thought...

I guess all I miss you is starting to hurt in a different place...

Silky

by Jarek Kubicki

Today

my skin

feels softer than usual...

I think that's because

it believes

that turning this way

it will make you want

to touch it faster...

by Egon Schiele

And once again you left my bed...

And once again I dream of the next kiss, the hug, the look in your eyes, your hands striping me off my clothes and dressing me up in your passion...

Mind and body, I offer myself to you...

See you soon babe, closer to the stars, up that tower, ready to fly away again...

Offered

Amalkovich, Naked On A Lap

Come... Come again... Come satisfy my desires, my skin burning for you, my head full of images I want to paint on your skin... You're my master this time... Tie me up and abuse me...

Halved

Sometimes I get confused, and I don't know if these are dreams or reality or just all the space in between... What are you filling inside me?

The smell of your skin, the touch of your hands, the look in your eyes... it all feels so right... Why the questions, why does it have to be so hard?...

I wish we were still just lovers, I wish my heart wasn't feeling you, I wish, wish, wish, and nothing right ever happens...

Thank you for the wonderful days, my beautiful lover...

Let's have more then, if that's your wish, and maybe I'll get over this mess inside...

It's just because my heart is still healing, and I am so afraid of going back to black...

'The Dream', Picasso

... drowning ...

Howard Schatz, H2O

I'm drowning, drowning, drowning fast, and you keep pulling me down...

Bubbles in my head, blurry sight, all so dark and repeatedly painful...

Let me go...

Playing The Doll

Viktor&Rolf

... and I have three new dresses and all I want is your hands up them...

Quelle surprise!

'Bathers' by Walter Sickert

And so much time has passed and you're still around... I'd never have thought!

And you know there is a blog... aren't you curious? You never ask, so sweet and lovely...

I might fall in love with you... Oh yes, I might... I don't feel so scared anymore...

I missed you under the Tunisian sun, the sand, the markets, the ocean, the monuments, and the smell of spices and mint tea turning my head upside down...

Come... Come meet me soon in the wonderful city by the sea... I miss it as much as I miss you... Let's see it together, soak my bed in sweat and I'll show you some more secrets...

Can you take it?...

Jardinagem

'Nu-au-store' by Ava Brodsky de Gouttes

Abre os estores e deixa entrar o sol... Beija-me e leva-me lá para fora... As flores começam a crescer no jardim e a relva é macia nas minhas costas... Quero sexo a cheirar a papoilas...

Titles...

Francis Picabia (1879-1953)

I want you, and then I don't, and then I miss you and some days I am just tired of you... You know all this but still you always come around for more... and I like it that way...

But darling, that's because you know you're the one in my head when I take those long train rides to work... You're the one in my head when the jacket covers my lap and my hand slides under it, unzipps my jeans and sneaks in, to feel your territory warmed by memories and desires... And when I trap my hot heavy breathing inside, when my legs stretch under the seat in front of me, out of my control, and my wet hand is squeezed between them, it's your strong hug I miss...

And this is why you keep coming back...

'You are the girl!...' you said...

'A beautiful monster...' I reply...

Let's just play some old song...

by Amalkovich

Sometimes things lose colour and you just need to be left alone...

hotext

'Le Clic' by Manara

‘I want to fuck you and I want it now’

...BeepBeep…

‘Put those fingers inside your wet pussy… now… Saturday evening I’ll get them out, babe…’

Contrasts

'La brune et la blonde' by Picabia

We have all been friends for long. Me and them, I mean. Not you. You're the fresh one, replacing someone who was only feeding scars. Now there is you, and scars are healing, and I am happy with that.

It was after Christmas and we went for a drink. Me and her. Nice pub downtown, classy and posh enough, and the first bottle of red wine. She's nice. She looks good. She smells good. She's a good friend and I like her. Sip after sip both wine and talk got warmer, and before I knew we talk about you, her, her lover, her breasts, my hair, and everyone's fantasies… Oh, lover, what a revelation… she comes closer, conversation goes on, and a few times I had no idea what I was saying… between she crossing her legs, sipping the wine, throwing her hair back, looking at my curves and caressing my hair, I was lost…

I call you…

'Babe… I think I drank too much… I think I'll kiss M tonight…'

'What?? Really?... Oh my…Tell me!...'

'Well…'

And I went on on details, whispering, teasing, and your voice failing and you telling me 'Go, baby, go, and tell me all about it…'

Back to the table her lover shows up, so sober and innocent…

'Get a whisky, K!'

'Why, what's up?'

'You're up, babe!...' – I say, and we laugh…

He comes back to the table and I can't wait…

'K… can I kiss your girlfriend?...'

His face was worth paying to see, and all pale and shaking he said…

'Yeah, I guess so…'

The bar was full, the music was loud, the second bottle of red was empty, and so was my head and judgement and her kisses tasted so good!...

'I want you to kiss him…' – she said…

'Are you sure?...'

'Yes, kiss him!'

I kissed her boyfriend, he kissed me, and I didn't know who had the hands up my wide trousers anymore…

I called you on the phone and she wanted to talk to you… only one thing she told me…

'He says I should take you home and make all your dreams come true…'

We left the bar, headed to their place, and the night was long and wet, in dark and blonde, and he sat and watched… I was imagining you there…

Lover, you are all I could have wished for… the best Christmas present…

Anxious

You're coming... again... and again I go in tones of red, antecipating your arrival...

TIRED

Too many words, too many…

Hearts and heads and all out lives spinning around them,
Drinking from them,
Searching new meanings,
Different interpretations,
Reasons and reactions,
A blink,
An altered breathing,
And we all feed on them.
What they mean,
And how,
And the tone,
And the way you were looking,
And the difference between what you say and what you really meant,
And the reason why there is no truth,
And what if there is?,
And what if it's just another one?,
And what if we just didn’t hear it right?...

'Could you repeat please?'

But now tell me why,
And when,
And who was there and heard it the same,
Or not,
Or what they thought about it and why.
What about my letters?
Did you read 'love' in between the lines'?
It was there.
It was everywhere,
Why didn’t you see it?
What?
WHAT??
No, I meant…
I never said that!
Well…
I just meant something else.
Don’t you hear what I say?
You should know me better.
Why do you think so?
Please, tell me how you feel…
Are you my whore, just mine?
Why are you sad?
Should I leave now?
Can I kiss you?
Shut up!
I really like you…
So do I…
…

Can we talk?

…

S . I . L . E . N . C . E

… c a n

w e

p l e a s e

h a v e

s o m e

s i l e n c e

s o m e t i m e s ? ...

Thank you so much …

Desires...

'Legambiente' by Manara [1997]

I dream of the summer, and I dream of the ocean, and I dream of your body, so wet and salty and warm, under the sun, glued to mine… I want to take you to my private paradise and make it ours… At least for a while…

Flowergraphic...

Poppy Opening

... or maybe it's just my head ...

Private?

'A Deux' by Rodin

We had a wonderful time… Two days in a magic country, in a magic small town, a magical huge bed with a view to the castle, to the river, to all our dreams and fantasies…

Time to go back home, time to take the bus and face the three hours ride…

Nearly empty bus and we head for the backseats… Isn't that all lovers' favourite spot? Oh yeah babe… On the seats in front of us, two students heading back to the big city with their laptops and papers and notes and an interminable blablabla over some boring subject I couldn’t really understand… Advantages of a foreign language in a foreign country…

As we seat behind them, I find that the cleverest place, as they surely wouldn’t turn back unless we were too explicit… which could happen… but in any case, being a foreigner – and a stranger – gives you that sense of 'who cares!?' that I love, so… who would care?!...

You sat by the window and I sat next to you. We were so close, kissing so nice and warm, I could feel your chest altering the breathing and turning so much warmer… my hand under your t-shirt feeling the soft skin contrasting to the suddenly turned hard nipples, as I grab the hair on the back of your neck to better fill your mouth with my tongue… A deeper breath releases a discreet moan off your lungs, and how I love it!... Your hands are sweaty now, and they search for my braless breasts to find them hot, hard and shaking under your touch and over the old road bumps. The long jacket which covered us on the train travel to that wonderful city, is now covering me on the way back, so your hand can dwell between my legs, unbuttoning my jeans, feeling my wet underwear, diving under it and touching me in such a crazy way… oh, your fingers are soft but steady, strong but so sensible, you know so well where to go, and when, and how… you drive me crazy!...

As I am being so well spoiled by you and your hot attention, the bus stops… Ohhh… so many people coming in… There is this guy sitting on the other end of the backseat! What the hell is that?? Respect, young boy, R-E-S-P-E-C-T! You DO NOT seat in that place when there is a couple, completely tangled and flushed and covered in clothes, on the other end! It's wrong!... Hmm… Unless… Unless you want to share some fun… Hmm… Could be that… Is that what you want young boy?... So let him have cake!...

I was happy with the fun I had had and what I really wanted was to give you pleasure… it makes me so hot to see your eyes, gazing, as if everything I do would be the last expected move, like a miracle, a mind read, a very expensive present you unwrap with a child's excitement!... Oh, lover, it melts me!...

I ask you to move on my seat so I can take yours, and you don’t seem to understand but, as usual, you obey… In a second I am sitting by the window, sideways, facing the back of the bus, my legs on the seat, and my upper body is covering yours. I rest my body on my right hand, cover us both with the magic jacket, and my left hand is all yours!... I go in your jeans to feel you so hard with anticipation!... I grab you as I bite your lips, telling you with my eyes… 'I'm gonna have you now…' and you let yourself go under my desire… Touching you is wonderful and we both always want more!... As your breathing accelerates you keep checking over my shoulder if anyone is watching, if someone could dream of what is going on there, and I whisper… 'Ok baby… Here… Feel it… See how hard and sweet you are… Come for me… I'll keep you safe…'

I tried. I swear I tried to keep an eye on those other 50 people in that bus, the guy in the other end of our seat, the students and their laptops and the driver with the mirrors… But I couldn’t!... All I could look at was you, touching yourself, so close to me I could feel your hand coming and going, so wild, and your breath condensating all the air between us, inside that jacket, on the windows, the whole bus, infected by sex, desire, lust and fantasies, our fantasies, mirrored in those 50 pairs of eyes who had no idea how privileged they were by sharing that moment!... Oh, my lover, only the way your body shivered on that seat could have given our little secret away, so I hold you tight, I hug you, your shaking hands, your sweaty hair between my fingers, until you breathe again, look at me, smile, and say… 'You're my dream, babe… You really are…' … and your kiss still tastes like adrenaline…

And Nobody Knows...

by Manara

The things you do to me, no one else did before. So many bodies and faces, hands and lips, and love and sex, and still so much to discover, and now it all has your name on it… I have your name on me…

Last night I saw you. I saw your smile turning into desire, and that desire growing and looking for me, craving more… I saw you touching your skin, your hair, I saw your hand going down your belly…

'I'm sorry baby, it's such a big desire for you…' – you said…

And I lost my thoughts on the sight of your naked body, bursting, shivering, growing… and I asked you for more. I wanted to see it.

You touched yourself for me and it was beautiful.
Tonight is my turn.
Keep your webcam on.

Animal

by Sanders Steins

Tonight I don't care about anything else... Just come and abuse me...

Distance is Magic

'Seated Nude' by Walter Sickert

... and if you could have me everyday... would you get tired of me?...

Ohh...

'Ice Queen' by Amalkovich

So cold here, and all I want to warm me up is you...

Unmissable

'Lust: Caution' by Ang Lee

I've seen this sometime ago, but would see it a thousand times more, again and again...

Thank you my lover, for your hand on my leg...

Get Him Away!...

Jan Saudek, 'La Leçon de Mandoline' - 1993

All I want is you inside me. All I'm dreaming of is that…

What are you dreaming of my lover?

(… and so why is the bogeyman still in my head?...)

Genious, Genious...

The Magic Lamp

You said you'd find a way to make all my wishes come true…

Well…

I want you here

RIGHT

N-O-W!

Fast Track

It's The Ride, Not The Destination

I had a surprise for the next morning… We should wake up early and get on a train… Where to? I wasn't allowed to know, it was your present, your surprise.

We do wake up in time, but the first morning kiss turns our bodies inside out and all of a sudden we are late, we have to run, we almost miss the train, and… Ok, here we go…

We leave from a beautiful train station in a fairly modern train. A long carriage, windows on one side and on the other, the doors to the six passengers cabins… As we get in the only one where there was only one other person, the old man leaves, opening our smiles to each other… Hmmm… Now the space was all ours…

Ten o'clock in the morning, the riding train, the engine noise, the leather seats, and the excitement… The excitement of my unknown destination, the excitement of your carefully planned surprise… The excitement of that cabin, the fast passing view out the window, small towns and big trees and small houses and big green fields and our hands, our smiles, our freedom…

You sit in front of me and you look so deep in my eyes my heart starts beating faster, and I move on your lap… Seating there, facing you, so close, knees on your seat, I feel the intensity of your desire, the warmth of the back of your neck, the humidity of your lips on mine. I feel you between my legs, your hands inside my jeans, under my shirt, and something wild is growing between us. I don't want to miss this… I look out to the corridor… There is a lock to the door, but there are no curtains… I move and you hold me closer…

'Wait baby…'

I smile at you and you look intrigued…

'Are you cold?...'

'No, I just need to get this on…'

My long coat covers us, down my shoulders, around my legs, your legs, my jeans, your t-shirt…

'Curtains, darling…'

I unbutton your jeans and mine go down to my knees. Holding your neck, feet on the leather seat, I sit on you, and that close I feel our smell, I sense the steam of desire and I see that fire in your eyes…

Slow… so slow… come in me…

The train is moving fast against our slow motion dance, and the old tracks are on our side… I feel you hard, deep, your heart beating so fast I can hear it on your lips… Your arms around me holding me so strong against you cut my breath and I love it, I feel so powerful, and you love that too…

The moment had to be interrupted with our arrival to a station… Fortunately, nothing happening there could not be finished in the train toilet, against the sink, your eyes looking at mine through the mirror, your hands on my hips, and a now faster than any train track to ecstasy, and the certainty that all fantasies can be real with a lover like you…

For You Only

Betty Page

We start with a drink, and then there are more... Tomorrow is a special day and we are celebrating, we are making it last...

We go to a club and there's no one in the last room... Two beers and a table and I sit comfortably, reclined, feet on your chair, between your legs, teasing with words... Another beer... The music is loud and my heart beats to it, to you, to the drinks... The centre of my body is compelled into you like an iman...

We kiss, your tongue touching my lips, softly, all so hot and wet... It's only when I grab your hair and pull your head back that you give in, a deep moan, all the air out of your lungs, and you slap my leg... Bad girl... Behave...

Or not...

Your hands are up my shirt, under your favourite silk and sequins bra, and I feel your knees parting my legs. I take the bra off and give it to you to smell it... your closed eyes and the way you lick your lips say it all, and when you look at me again you are transformed... Oh, lover, how I love to see you like that, to take you to that stage where I know everything is possible!...

'Baby, you're driving me crazy, I can feel you all over my body!...'

'Hmmm... no, you can't... not yet...'

And my hands slide from your chest down to your belly, inside your jeans, and the disbelief in your eyes just makes me want it more. I touch you, I can feel you in my hands, but it doesn't seem enough... that's what you do to me... So I look around and there is no one. Under the arch that leads to the room full of people no shadow seems to menace our precarious privacy, and I smile at you, hold you stronger, and take you in my lips. You feel so good, so strong and hot, and for sometime I forget where we are... My lips are still wet and I smile at you, again reclined, teasing, shirt up, showing you the breasts you love, the hard nipples you want to bite...

'These things you do to me... Ohh...'

'Get me drunk... Get me drunk and fuck me like a whore...'

'You wanna be fucked like a whore?'

'Yes, babe... Fuck me like a whore... '

The night took a fast way home, where our clothes flew over the furniture and we landed on the bed. We were so excited, my lover, I couldn't tell from my sweat and yours... Kneeling on the bed I feel your hands on my waist, holding me hard so I can't escape you... as if I would even try... You come inside me so slowly I feel like dying, and as you move deeper you bent over my ear...

'What do you want tonight?...'

'I told you to get me drunk and fuck me like a whore... I am drunk...'

Your slaps, my moans, our desperate and uncontrolled search for eachothers pleasure take us to madness, to an illogic race against our own breathing and heartbeat until I stop you and throw you on the bed... Now you're mine. Now I get you in my mouth and I feel you like never before, and you feel it like never before, and the reward you give is a new way to explore my body, with your fingers, with your tongue, breathing so fast and deep... like never before, my orgasm seems endless and my whole body numbs… for a minute I have no control of it. Spasms and I can not breathe, and before I have the time to recover you have turned me around and you're inside me again, slapping my thighs, getting to ecstasy while you say...
'You're my whore... I never had one like you... You're my favourite whore and I love fucking you!...'

It's another dimension now, because I'm your whore and we fell asleep on eachothers arms...

wordless...

by Araki Nobuyoshi

... and my whole body is screaming for you every morning now... and I want to write and I have no words... and I just wanted to find them... or not...

Just a little bit longer...

15th Century Astronomical Clock [Old Town Square - Prague]

Here we go again...

Tomorrow I'll feel the smell of your hair, the softness of your kisses and your strong arms around me. I will again have you breathing, hot, on my neck, and I will wake up with your beautiful smile, under the blankets, our bodies coming closer and closer until they are one and the sky will change its colour just for us...

Tomorrow I will have you again. Tomorrow all I've been dreaming of will be a step closer to become reality...

Oh, all these things we are and desire... We are lust and we are dreams, and dreams fade and lust is a deadly sin...

What are the odds?...

Dangerous

Save me, my lover, for today I could kill him.

For all he did,

for all I let him do,

for all I did to myself.

And now he's back and I hate him again.

And I hate myself again.

Take this gun from my hands and drive me to ecstasy till the morning

or I will wake up with blood in my mouth...

Last night...

by Tony Ward

... all my senses were yours, and the memories from last week came back all at a time to make my head spin and my hands wonder... Oh, babe, I wish you could have watched... you like it, don't you?...

I want you so bad...

Delirious

Vanity by Frank Cadogan Cowper

Somedays I believe I am your princess...

Custard, my dear?...

by River Clark

After the Thai dinner I swore to you I knew what was missing, I took you to my favourite dessert restaurant and asked for an applecrumble with custard… something sweet, warm... two spoons… let's see how well you feed me…

We are sitting by the window and passers by have full sight of me, in a busy restaurant downtown… No, my dear, your hands can not go up my legs, feeling my muscles, my tight jeans, all the way to what you wish the most… Have dessert… It will have to be enough for now to satisfy your needs of sugary and wet delights…

I feed you the first spoon and you close your eyes, breathing in to better feel its taste and texture, taking time… When you open your eyes again you seem possessed by the sort of lust that always brings you a different sparkle, and say it's my turn… Fill the spoon and take it to your lips first, lick the bottom of it, and dip it slowly into my watery mouth… I close my lips around the spoon and let you remove it… Your breathing is getting heavier and the effect it has inside me is unpredictable at a restaurant table… Unaware of it, I cross my legs and that brings a smile to your face… The next spoon you bring into my mouth has difficulty leaving it, with my teeth releasing it by bits, and every time I hold it a soft moan comes out of you, an interrupted breath, a split second of tension…

Holding the full spoon in your hand half way between us, eyes locked in mine, I sense a movement, a very tight short intense movement, and I feel it inside…

Ohhh… How do you do this to me?...

The dance went on in slow motion, so silent and contained no one noticed it, as I got hotter and wetter than your spoon filling… In and out of me your eyes took me so close to ecstasy, I think only my consciousness of where we were - brought to me by the noise of a dropped piece of cutlery – stopped the excessive blood flow to all the flamed areas of my body, and when I started sweating and that restaurant window was too much exposure… 'Babe, I'll be back…' … and from the restroom downstairs I brought you on my fingers the taste of your favourite dessert for you to lick…

'Let's have a glass of red now, shall we?...' – I said…

You helped me dress my jacket, wrapped my scarf around my neck and followed me… you were just too out of your mind to answer…

Loosing my freedom

by Milo Manara

I see your frame through my entrance door stained glass, and I open before you knock… There you are, standing, grey scarf and the warmest smile, shaking hands, looking at me as if nothing else existed in the world, a red rose in your hand.

After all the silly childish lovely passion signs, we finally make it in the door and I take you upstairs to my room…

Oh, where to start?...

Your breathing is fast and irregular, your skin on my skin, your warm hands reaching for the right place to touch… Hours to get off our clothes, admiring, recognizing, exploring… more than the first time, more than any other time before… Our eyes looking out for every detail, every change, every sign of the short time passed between the water city and now… No changes, except for more desire, more lust, and maybe a bit more of that scary feeling intimacy brings… the forbidden words, the wish they would suit us, the fear they do…

Now we are naked, now there is no more hesitation, no more to wait for, and you hold my face, looking into my eyes, and I feel you, slowly, hot, hard, coming inside me… We stop and stay there. Eyes. That's all I remember, all that mattered. The waiting turns into madness and the night lasted till the sun was up, coming in through my bedroom window, lighting up your contours, my hair, our sweat, the grey linen… My first orgasm arrived on your lips and then I lost count, lost track, lost sense of time and place, and until I fell asleep in your arms there was nothing else, no one else, no other place in the world…

Oh, lover, turn that airplane around… I'm loosing my freedom...

my heart is out of control...

... because I know you're coming tonight ...

more fear...

Venere by Man Ray

I know we said we'd be free, I know we said there were no ties, no questions, no answers... oh my lover, how long will it last like that?...

Too much red wine, too many questions to ask, too many answers for unasked questions...

Let it be... it's just my mind...

suspirando

by Manara

E estás próximo, cada dia mais próximo… Já te sinto o cheiro e o olhar, e a cada minuto que passa a ansiedade substitui a distância e já só penso nas tuas mãos…

Não te sei escrever nem descrever na minha língua que não entendes, e que já quase nem eu entendo, e que nem sequer nos faz falta. Falamos de outras formas, de tantas outras formas em que as nossas mãos são a voz mais alta, em sussurros, em sorrisos, gargalhadas, e quantas vezes soluços…

Não sei quem és nem de onde vens, nem por quanto tempo ficarás, mas és neste dia o melhor dos sonhos…

Não me acordes… não me acordes… não me acordes…

fear

photo by Saudek

Last night you said there was a word waiting to be told when our eyes meet and there is nothing around except the silence of our souls, with a fragrant fresh wind caressing my hair, a flowery meadow with the impression of infinity, and our look at each other... You said if this moment would come, there would be no need for words, and that you would look only as deep in me as I could allow you to...

I am just terrified, my dear... Absolutely terrified...

Close your lips, shut your eyes, lock all the doors to those words, because my head is not ready for you and my heart is just being digested...

How I wish I was braver now...

You made me cry, you made me laugh, you made me wish the world was something else. And nevertheless, it is not.

What a shame...

good reads...

old words...